


changkyu | 항상 곁에 있을게 (always with you)

by plincess_cho (ai_hao)



Series: 잠들고 싶어 (In My Dream) | Changmin x Kyuhyun [2]
Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, Super Junior
Genre: Author: Ai, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-24
Updated: 2015-09-24
Packaged: 2018-04-23 03:22:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4861124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ai_hao/pseuds/plincess_cho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyuhyun remembers his car accident, and Changmin is there to keep him from falling.</p>
            </blockquote>





	changkyu | 항상 곁에 있을게 (always with you)

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This deals with the deaths of the Ladies Code members. Please be warned if this is something that is sensitive to you. I tried to deal with it in a respectful way from Kyuhyun and Changmin's perspectives.

"No way!" Changmin exclaimed after one of the dancer hyungs recounted a story of an epic prank he played on his brother. "What did he say?"

"You won't believe it. He actually--" but his voice trailed off as one of the managers entered the room and immediately pulled Yunho aside. Changmin turned right as the cheerful smile on Yunho's face disappeared instantly. Changmin's stomach seized up as the laughter died in his throat.

Everyone looked on anxiously as Yunho bowed towards the manager. He left the room and Yunho turned to face the room. "I... I don't know how to say this," he stuttered, and Changmin knew it had to be bad. Yunho somehow always knew what to say, even if it was hard to get out. "Ladies Code was in a horrible car accident, and," he swallowed hard, "one of their members passed away."

Changmin's heart dropped straight to his toes.  _Kyuhyun._

Everyone else was in shock, but Changmin scrambled for his phone. He ignored the barrage of incoming messages and opened up his messenger application.

_lord_voldemin: just heard the news about ladies code. are u okay?_

There was a brief pause before the other replied.

_gaemgyu: no_

Changmin's stomach tied itself into all the knots he never could remember from scout camp as a kid. He took a deep breath and typed back.

 _lord_voldemin: where are you?_  
_gaemgyu: on my way to my parents_  
_lord_voldemin: good_  
_lord_voldemin: lmk if u need anything_  
_lord_voldemin: i can drive u back whenever_  
_lord_voldemin: just call_  
_gaemgyu: thanks  
_ _gaemgyu: really_

Changmin let his phone drop into his lap as he looked around. By now, everyone else was whispering amongst themselves and checking their phones for news updates.

"Another member is still in surgery," someone said. "But they don't know if she'll make it."

"That's such a tragedy. I heard she was a really lovely girl."

"I wonder what happened in the accident."

"Is everyone else okay?"

"Changmin?"

Changmin blinked and Yunho came into focus. "Changmin?" he repeated. "Are you okay?"

"I think so," he replied, somewhat shakily. "I'm worried about Kyuhyun."

It took Yunho a split second to realize and then "Oh! Is he... is he okay?"

"He will be," Changmin replied. "I hope."

They cancelled practice for the day and everyone made their way home. Yunho, like always, ensured that all of the dancer noonas were safely in taxis before heading out himself. He turned back to see Changmin standing at the entrance to the building, a hat low over his eyes and face mask covering his face. "Changminnie?" he called, urging Changmin forward. "Let me drive you home."

But Changmin shrugged him off. "I need my car," he replied.

"Then let me drive," Yunho said, taking the keys from his hand. "I... I don't want you driving alone."

Normally Changmin would've gone on a long tirade about how Yunho wasn't his dad and didn't need to take care of him, but today he didn't fight. He followed Yunho to the parking garage and slid into the passenger's seat while Yunho put the key into the ignition.

He didn't even realize the car slowing to a stop. Yunho waited a good five minutes before softly tapping his shoulder and saying, "Changminnie, we're here."

Changmin looked up to see the familiar exterior of his family's building. "Uh, why are we at my parents’ house?" he asked.

"I'm sure your mom needs to see you," Yunho replied. "I know she worries about you." He got out of the car and handed the keys back to Changmin. "Text me, okay? Let me know if you're up to practice tomorrow." Changmin nodded numbly and turned to go. He turned back right as Yunho was getting into a taxi. "Hyung!" he called.

"Yeah?" Yunho asked, pausing midway into the taxi.

"Thanks," Changmin said. And he meant it.

He knocked on the door to his parents' house. When his mother answered the door, she immediately pulled him into her arms. She could feel the tension in his body and stepped back to look at him. "Changminnie, what's wrong?" she asked, her voice and face both laced with worry.

"There was a car accident," Changmin said. "And--"

"Mom!" Sooyeon yelled from the adjoining room. "Ladies Code were in a car accident! And one of them--" her voice trailed off as she walked into the room and noticed Changmin.

"Didn't make it," Changmin finished.

"Oh Changmin!" his mother exclaimed, throwing her arms around him. "Did you know her?"

"I'd met her," Changmin replied, wrapping his arms around his mother. "But Kyuhyun..."

He could hear his mother gasp loudly. She stepped back and looked at him before pulling him close again. "He's thinking about his accident," she said.

"Yeah," Changmin replied.

Changmin's mother held him tightly for a very long time. For once, Changmin didn't pull away or complain that he was too old to be babied by his mother. Instead, he clung to her tightly and tried not to let her see his tears.

*

_gaemgyu: hey_  
_lord_voldemin: hey_  
_lord_voldemin: r u okay?_  
_gaemgyu: better yeah_  
_gaemgyu: it's still surreal_  
_lord_voldemin: yeah_  
_gaemgyu: did u know them?_  
_lord_voldemin: no_  
_gaemgyu: same_  
_gaemgyu: might've met them at a party or something_  
_lord_voldemin: yeah_  
_gaemgyu: are you okay?_  
_gaemgyu: sorry didn’t even ask_  
_lord_voldemin: it’s okay_  
_lord_voldemin: i’m fine_  
_lord_voldemin: it’s just weird, you know?_

He almost typed  _Because it could’ve been us,_  but he didn’t. Because it could’ve been Kyuhyun. It almost  _was_  Kyuhyun. And Changmin didn’t want to remember that. 

And neither did Kyuhyun

_gaemgyu: yeah_  
_gaemgyu: omfg my mom makes amazing food tho_  
_gaemgyu: [photo]_

Changmin chuckled. Leave it to his best friend to get distracted by food.

_lord_voldemin: heh tell your mom to make me some_  
_gaemgyu: she will_  
_gaemgyu: i’ll have her pack some for you._  
_gaemgyu: the funeral’s tomorrow... can you pick me up?_  
_lord_voldemin: yes_  
_gaemgyu: thanks_

*

Changmin pulled into the circle drive in front of the apartment complex where Kyuhyun’s parents lived. He put the car into park and texted Kyuhyun to let him know he was waiting.

_gaemgyu: come upstairs - mom wants to see u  
_

Changmin did as he was told. He put his hazards on and hurried up like he’d done so many times before, except this time he wasn’t lugging several bottles of wine nor intending to get completely hammered.

Well, not yet.

Kyuhyun’s mother threw her arms around Changmin the minute the door opened. She reached out one arm to pull Kyuhyun close as she hugged them both tightly. “Please be careful,” she murmured. “You’re precious cargo.”

“We will, Mom,” Kyuhyun replied, leaning down to give her a kiss. 

She watched until the two boys disappeared down the stairs. They looked so sharp in their dark suits, and she choked back another sob as she thought of where they were headed: a funeral, not a wedding, and not their first of the year.

*

The funeral was hard. Kyuhyun knew it would be, but he never imagined it would be this bad. This time, it was personal. “I can’t go to anymore funerals this year,” he murmured to Changmin as they walked into the memorial hall.

“Yeah,” Changmin replied. He put his arm around Kyuhyun’s shoulders and took a deep breath. “Come on, let’s go pay our respects.”

Together they bowed low in front of EunB’s portrait before extending their condolences to her family and bandmates. 

“I’m truly sorry for your loss,” Kyuhyun said to Ashley and Zuny. He dug into his pocket to pull out two scraps of paper and handed one to each of the girls. “If you need anything, please call. I know it’s not much, but...” his voice trailed off. “I’m sorry.”

Both girls bowed in thanks, and Changmin and Kyuhyun walked forward to let the next mourners greet the girls. 

“Let’s get out of here,” Kyuhyun said.

Changmin already had the keys in his hand.

*

Four days later, they received news that the other member of Ladies Code passed away as well. This time, Changmin ran out of the practice room and down the hall to where he knew Super Junior would be. He threw the door open without knocking and all the Super Junior members turned to look at him suddenly.

“Changmin, if you’re ready to give up your income to join us, you’re more than welcome to,” Eunhyuk joked, but Kyuhyun knew something was wrong.

“What is it?” he asked, walking over to Changmin. The room suddenly grew serious.

“RiSe... from Ladies Code...” Changmin said.

“Didn’t make it,” Kyuhyun whispered. 

Changmin shook his head sadly. From where he stood, he could see Kyuhyun visibly start to shake. Changmin reached out to steady him, but the shaking was too strong. Instead, Changmin pulled him in for a hug right before Kyuhyun started crying.

“I’m sorry,” Changmin muttered over and over. “I’m sorry.” He looked up at the Super Junior members staring at them and mouthed,  _I don’t know what to do._

But they didn’t know either.

*

Somehow, Changmin managed to gather up their things and maneuver Kyuhyun into the front seat of his car. Usually, Kyuhyun would make some smartass comment about how immaculate Changmin’s car was, but not today. Today, he sat in the passenger’s seat and stared out the window without saying a word.

Changmin pulled into the underground parking lot and parked his car in his allotted slot. He got out, grabbed his gym bag from the back, and started towards the elevator when he realized Kyuhyun wasn’t with him. He walked back to find Kyuhyun still sitting in the car, staring straight ahead.

 _Was I this catatonic when Yunho drove me home?_  Changmin wondered to himself. He knocked on Kyuhyun’s window. “Hey,” he said. “Want to come up?”

“Oh, yeah,” Kyuhyun replied. He unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car. Changmin put his arm around Kyuhyun and guided him towards the elevator. It wasn’t a terribly long ride to the eighth floor, and thankfully no one else got on. They walked out into the hallway and Changmin jammed his keys into the lock. Kyuhyun followed behind, not saying a word. He sat down on the couch and stared at the blank television in front of him.

Changmin unpacked his gym bag, tossing the dirty clothes into his laundry hamper and leaving the bag to air out. He then went over to the kitchen and pulled two packets of ramen and two bowls out of the pantry. He set them both on the table before filling the hot water heater with water and setting it on the stand to heat. Two minutes later, steam emitted from the top and the machine beeped to let him know it was done. He carried the pitcher to the table and called for Kyuhyun to join him.

They ate their ramen in silence. Kyuhyun mostly poked at his, but Changmin was starving from practice and finished his ramen quickly. Kyuhyun pushed his bowl over to Changmin to finish.

“Do you think about it?” Kyuhyun asked.

“About what?” Changmin replied through a mouthful of noodles.

“The accident.”

“What accident? Your accident?”

Kyuhyun nodded.

Changmin swallowed and look him straight in the eyes. “I try not to.”

“Me too,” Kyuhyun replied. “But...”

“You still have nightmares about it,” Changmin said softly. 

“Yeah,” Kyuhyun said. “I thought they’d stopped for good, but then they came back.”

“Just now?” Changmin asked.

“No,” Kyuhyun replied, his voice very quiet. “A few months ago. I don’t know why. We were in Japan and...” his voice trailed off.

“You woke up screaming,” Changmin finished. 

“Scared Ryeowook shitless,” Kyuhyun replied, managing a weak smile before sobering up. “I haven’t had one yet... this week... but...”

“It’s okay,” Changmin said quickly before Kyuhyun could think about it too much. He got up to clear the dishes. “You’re staying the night, right?”

“I probably should get back,” Kyuhyun replied. “Besides, you don’t want me screaming at all hours,” he said.

Changmin shrugged. “I mean I already deal with your snoring, and that’s probably worse.”

Kyuhyun glared at him, in that familiar  _I’m going to kill you in your sleep_  glare that Changmin was used to. Changmin chuckled and pulled Kyuhyun up out of his seat. “Come on: I’ll let you kick my ass at Starcraft.”

“You say that every time I beat you,” Kyuhyun replied. “When are you going to admit that you just  _suck_  at Starcraft?”

*

Not surprisingly, Kyuhyun fell asleep first. Changmin couldn’t sleep and found himself staring up at the ceiling. He knew that he should try to rest: tomorrow morning would come all too quickly and he’d regret having stayed up so late. But his mind wouldn’t stop. Another member had died before her time, and he and Kyuhyun would have to go to another funeral, their third that year.

 _Fuck._  Changmin was ready for 2014 to be over. He squeezed his eyes shut and prayed that this year would end quickly. They could skip the funerals, the enlistments, and everything else that was yet to come. Just skip it all.

_Fuck._

*

Changmin fell into an uneasy sleep. He dreamt that he and Kyuhyun were practicing for their “Ichigo” performance with the giant strawberry heads. They were laughing and fighting with each other when suddenly, the dream changed. The night turned dark but bright lights appeared out of the distance and suddenly...

A scream. A loud, blood-curdling scream. “ _NO!”_  he heard Kyuhyun yell. Changmin flailed around to find Kyuhyun but he couldn’t seem to reach him. Kyuhyun screamed again,  _“NO!”_

This time it sounded louder, and this time, when Changmin threw out his arms, he hit something solid.

Changmin awoke with a start, breathing heavily. His heart was pounding a million miles an hour and it took him a moment to realize that he was safe in his apartment. He didn’t want to think about what almost happened, what the dream had done...

But the screaming was still there.

 _“NO!”_  Kyuhyun yelled again.  _“NO!”_

Changmin leaned over to shake his best friend awake. “Kyuhyun! Kyuhyun!” he yelled. “Wake up!”

 _“Stop the car!”_  Kyuhyun yelled.

“There’s no car!” Changmin yelled back. “Please,  _wake up!”_  With one fairly solid shake, he pulled Kyuhyun back into the land of the living. Kyuhyun jolted awake and stared at Changmin with wide frightened eyes. Changmin pulled him into his arms and hugged him tightly, murmuring over and over, “You’re alright, you’re alright, you’re alright.” He didn’t know if he was trying to reassure Kyuhyun or himself.

Kyuhyun held onto Changmin and tried to get his erratic breathing to return to normal. Just seconds ago he’d been back at the scene of the accident, waiting to die. But that was the past, he had to remind himself. He clutched his best friend and tried to reorient himself to the present.

 _You’re here, you’re safe,_  he told himself. Changmin kept mumbling “You’re alright, you’re alright,” over and over and Kyuhyun finally started to believe it.

They held onto each other for a long time, both forcing themselves to slow their breathing and calm down. Kyuhyun relaxed his grip on Changmin but didn’t let go. Changmin could feel Kyuhyun shaking and wondered if he was shaking himself. So many thoughts were running through his mind but he shooed them all away. He didn’t want to think about Kyuhyun’s accident or the Ladies Code accident or any of that. 

All he wanted to think about was how Kyuhyun was still there.

He didn’t realize that he was still repeating “You’re alright” until Kyuhyun said, “I’m alright, Chwang. I’m alright.”

*

Changmin didn’t remember falling asleep. When he woke up the next morning, he was on his side holding onto something warm. He nestled close to what he thought was a pillow and had almost fallen back asleep when the pillow moved. He opened his eyes and realized that he’d been holding onto Kyuhyun instead. He hurried to pull his arms back before Kyuhyun woke up, but Kyuhyun rolled over in his sleep, seemingly unaware of the world around him.

Changmin rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling, the same ceiling he’d stared at last night, the same ceiling he’d stare at many times again. Things were going to be okay. Kyuhyun was still here. They’d make it through this funeral.

They were going to make it.

He knew there was a long road ahead of the rest of the Ladies Code members, and he felt for them. The more he thought about it, the more his heart wrenched into a thousand pieces. The thought of losing a member... Losing 3/5 of DBSK had been hard enough, but they hadn't died. He could still text them and see them and hang out with them, but this... this was much worse. He made a mental note to check in on them in a few weeks if he could find their numbers. He didn't know what he would say, but he would try.

Kyuhyun would be okay too. He knew that much for sure. They'd been through worse before, but things would get better. Changmin would put up with Kyuhyun's night terrors as long as he had to if it meant his best friend would wake up knowing he was safe.

They'd make it. Changmin knew it.

*

And they did. They drove home from RiSe’s funeral with Minho in tow. They all went to Kyuhyun’s parents’ house and let Mama Cho hug them tightly once more. They stayed up late drinking until Minho wandered off and Kyuhyun was red in the face. They collapsed onto Kyuhyun’s bed together and nearly fell asleep until Changmin said,

“We made it.”

“Yeah,” Kyuhyun replied. He rolled over onto his stomach so he was squishing Changmin’s arm. “We did.”

**Author's Note:**

> I finally got them to snuggle. Finally. It only took like three fics to make it happen >.


End file.
